Sarah Tipper

sarahtipper

The author, Sarah Tipper, was born in Oxford in 1974, she has enjoyed writing from a young age and has been a metal fan since the age of thirteen. Sarah studied Psychology at Reading University and also has a masters in Health Psychology, done at Coventry University. Her first novel was “Eviscerated Panda”, followed up by a sequel in 2013, entitled ‘Eviscerated Panda – Back In Bamboo’ (which was reviewed by Metal Shock Finland’s Diane Roberts, here)

Today we want to introduce you Sarah’s new book “The Very Metal Diary Of Cleo Howard”:

“The year is 1997. Cleo Howard is at a very awkward age, she’s sure she’s an adult, so why won’t everyone realise this? Why won’t her chest realise this? Why is Maths so hard? When will she stop feeling sad that her Dad doesn’t live with her and her Mum? When will people realise that metal isn’t just a phase she’s going to grow out of? Music and men are Cleo’s twin fascinations and she thanks Almighty Lemmy for metal and for her mates. Her diary, which you can read and share, is home to her deepest thoughts and fondest wishes.

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It’s a book about growing up in Reading, England and loving metal! Read some diary entries below.

Get your copy here: https://www.amazon.com/Very-Metal-Diary-Cleo-Howard-ebook/dp/B00JFBDVC4

“The Very Metal Diary Of Cleo Howard” also exists on Soundcloud as an audiobook:

Watch Sarah Tipper reading “The Very Metal Diary Of Cleo Howard” on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClmfyi98vMxGE-JN45Yge1g

More information at: https://sarahtipper.blog

Read some diary entries here:

Monday 6th January

Back to school today. I wore the leather biker jacket I got for Christmas. Tyrannosaurus Reg from the year above admired it. He felt my shoulder to see if it was real leather! He touched me for about three whole seconds! I think he got aftershave for Christmas because he smelt really pungent. It was nice but I think your eyes would water if you stood too close to him for long. I could sort of feel it in the back of my throat. I sniffed the shoulder of my jacket at home later but I couldn’t smell anything except leather.

Mum doesn’t work on Mondays, Dear Diary, so she expects me home unless I have a really good excuse. I sometimes do homework on Mondays but we didn’t get any today. I watched my Dusk Til Dawn video. I hope I grow boobs like Santanico Pandemonium.

Wednesday 22nd January

I went round to Ian’s after school. Mum is at work until eight. Ian’s Dad Terry made us cheese toasties then we sat in Ian’s room and listened to Bolt Thrower’s In Battle There Is No Law album. I wish I was Jo Bench. I really need to learn how to play bass guitar.

Bass guitar plan:

1.       Get bass guitar
2.       Borrow book on how to play bass guitar from library
3.       Practice loads (except Saturdays, pub time is sacred, but Maths homework time can be better spent learning to play bass)
4.       World tour with my band, supporting Alice Cooper or Megadeth
5.       Rehab
6.       Marry Pete Steele after chance meeting somewhere exotic

I won’t forget Mum when I’m famous. I’ll send her postcards and she’ll admit she was wrong to say I couldn’t wear my Slayer T-shirt to school. I’ll buy her cakes which aren’t squashed. I’ll invite Dad to come and see me play.

Monday 10th February

For a Monday today has been very acceptable. School was good. I never really mind school except for getting up early, P.E., Maths and when Carina Norman is acting up. Today Carina Norman wasn’t there (she is the class bitch, Dear Diary, a total and utter nasty piece of work, as Nanny Howard would say), we did some aerobics in P.E. with a supply teacher and Maths was about angles which I can understand. Ian made me a mix tape. I saw T-Reg in shorts. I made macaroni cheese for tea and it was the best I’ve ever made, with a really smooth cheese sauce. Mum had some when she got in from work and said it was perfect.

My mix tape from Ian:

Side One:

She-Wolf – Megadeth
Where Next To Conquer – Bolt-Thrower
This Maniac’s In Love With You – Alice Cooper
Lady Lust – Venom
Beethoven On Speed – The Great Kat
Die By The Sword – Slayer
L.O.V.E. Machine – WASP
All Men Play On 10 – Manowar
Hammerhead – Flotsam and Jetsam
Sacrifice – Motörhead
Alcohol – Gang Green
Social Sterility – Napalm Death

Side Two:

The Metallian – Iron Angel
You’re My Temptation – Alice Cooper
Shoot From The Hip – WASP
Bleed For Me – Dismember
Temptation – Slayer
My Own Worst Enemy – Napalm Death
Voices Carry – Gang Green
Live Like An Angel – Venom
Pleasure Slave – Manowar
Refuse/Resist – Sepultura
Legs – ZZ Top
Beer Drinkers And Hellraisers – Motörhead

There’s a bit in L.O.V.E Machine where it sounds like Blackie Lawless is singing “My dick runs through my fingers”! But actually it’s “magic runs through my fingers”. I like Venom and without them we wouldn’t have Slayer but a lot of their stuff sounds like it’s been recorded in a cupboard in a hurry.

Sunday 2nd March

I listened to Ozzy Osbourne’s “I Just Want You” a load of times today. I thought about T-Reg a bit, but mostly I thought about Danzig. One of the things I like about Danzig is that he’s not too tall so you would be able to snog him easily if you were standing up. He is five foot three, the exact same height as me.

I finished reading Ben Elton’s This Other Eden. The bit where Jurgen Thor and Rosalie have sex is beautiful but not informative.

Saturday 11th October

Mum said some of my pants were getting tatty so she gave me some money to buy some more. Me and Jenni went to C&A and I got some red lace ones and some black lace ones. You can sort of see my pubes through them! Mum made a really strange face when I showed them her. She said she thought I was going to get some cotton ones, like the ones that have got tatty. I wore my new pants to the pub.

Shot looked amazing tonight. She was wearing a customised Dr and the Crippens T-shirt, a leather skirt and lime green fishnet tights. Bob said he’d love to get caught in Shot’s fishnets. She said she prefers men not boys! Wendy O Williams dated Lemmy and I bet if he’d been in the Green Man tonight Lemmy would have fancied Shot.

Dazza said Goths and black metal heads are compatible but black metal heads and Bon Jovi fans are not (although I happen to know he has snogged Ella). Ella wasn’t out tonight. She has a date with the cute guy who works in HMV and wears nail varnish and eyeliner.

Review By Di Parkes

Book Title – Eviscerated Panda – A Metal Tale

Author – Sarah Tipper

Fastprint Publishing

ISBN: 978-178035363-0

Probably a first for Metal Shock Finland – and most definitely a first for me – but here is a book review. As a fanatical reader of all manner of genres I was the first to volunteer when I saw this pop up as available for review. As I just mentioned I have never done a book review before, so please be gentle with me!

The author, Sarah Tipper, was born in Oxford in 1974, she has enjoyed writing from a young age and has been a metal fan since the age of thirteen; having attended numerous gigs, including Manowar, Bolt-Thrower, Suicidal Tendencies and Dedlok. Sarah studied Psychology at Reading University and also has a masters in Health Psychology, done at Coventry University. “Eviscerated Panda” is her first novel and she has also written a sequel this year (2013) entitled ‘Eviscerated Panda – Back In Bamboo’.

The storyline of the book centres around the newly-formed thrash metal band Eviscerated Panda and their assorted wives, girlfriends, friends and associates:

Central Characters: Eviscerated Panda:

Phil: Lead Guitar & founder of the band

Nick: Vocals/Supermarket worker

Jim: Bass Guitar

Paul: Drummer/Painter & Decorator

Ian: Rhythm Guitar & Webmaster

Suzi: Jim’s on/off girlfriend

Angie: Pauls wife

Cleo: Friend and avid follower of the band/biscuit factory worker

Jenni: Friend and avid follower of the band/lab technician

The book kicks off with the Pandas preparing to do their first ‘real gig’ at a local Reading venue, The Edge Bar. When asked what sort of music they play, Paul replied…

“We’re like Slayer, with five per cent early Suicidal Tendencies, five per cent Napalm Death, A bucket load of Black Sabbath, a bit of Pantera, a pinch of Judas Priest and a nod to Venom.”

It goes on to follow the trials and tribulations of a newly formed thrash metal band trying to make it in the cut-throat world of the music industry. Frequently doing unpaid gigs in (often) sleazy venues, sometimes even getting paid for it; even if that payment does only cover beer and petrol! I don’t want to spoil things for the potential readers by giving away too much ‘plot-wise’ but as well as the main story of the band itself the book also follows the relationships and ups and downs of the central characters; to the point where you find yourself rooting for certain ones to just get it together, and hoping others make it through their difficult relationship problems.

There are two main venues central to the plotline of the book, one being The Green Man, the local rock bar and the place where the band and friends meet regularly; and the other is The Edge Bar: local live music venue, where the guys get their first break. After this first gig, thanks to success via the website and word of mouth they go on to play/perform in places more further afield, places such as Swindon, Coventry, Oxford and even Camden. We get to read about the Pandas attempt to climb the ladder of success, the gigs themselves and the escapades of both the band members and other characters….even the fact that they manage to scrape up enough cash to release their first E.P.

As a huge metal fan I eagerly devoured the book and read it through the first time over just three consecutive evenings, I simply couldn’t put it down! I got the distinct impression – rightly or wrongly I have absolutely NO idea – that the characters of both the band and others, such as Cleo and Jenni are based on or around real life actually existing people that Sarah Tipper is either close to or knows socially; one could even be her – my money, for what it’s worth would be on Cleo J

Sarah Tipper quite simply ( maybe aided by her studies in Psychology???) has the knack of describing people and places in such graphic detail that you find yourself (or at least I did) becoming embroiled in their lives, the ups and downs, the happy and the not-so-happy times. I have to confess that for much of the book I did expect two of the central characters to get into a relationship together, and maybe this is exactly the way Ms. Tipper wants us to think – as to whether they made it in the end, well you will just have to read the book to find out!

One aspect of the book I really must pick up on is ‘The Girls Guide to Heavy Metal’….Now, whether or not this began life as a touch of ‘padding’ to extend the length of the book it soon became SO much more than that, it is both informative (especially to the non-metalhead female) and hysterically funny in equal measures. I honestly believe a mini ‘novelette’ based around this would go down a storm! I loved it all but my favourite two sections of this inspired part of the book would have to be ‘The Fashion’ and ‘Metal Love & Sex’.

To be perfectly frank, when asked to review a book on the subject of ‘metal’ I did sort of expect more descriptive aspects of sex, drugs and rock n roll; with gratuitous sex and blaspheming adorning every other page. But in all honesty the book did not suffer one bit for the lack of these (although it should be said that it does have it’s fair share so don’t start reading it expecting a plotline akin to ‘The sound of Music’ lol) In fact, had there been an abundance of these elements I don’t think the book would appeal quite so much to the general readership, and would have placed it even more into a ‘niche’ market, with only hardened metalheads giving it a chance. This will hopefully show mainstream music lovers that in reality we don’t inhabit a twilight world of satan worship and sleeping in coffins or hanging upside down like bats

In summary, I think the whole concept of the book sets out to show that metalheads and members of metal bands themselves are just ordinary people, with the same hang-ups, worries and relationship struggles as other mere mortals. Well done Sarah for a thoroughly descriptive, knowledgeable and enjoyable first novel, which as a hardened metalhead I thoroughly enjoyed from start to finish. Also I am pleased to announce that the sequel to ‘Eviscerated Panda – A Metal Tale’ is now available and is entitled ‘Eviscerated Panda – Back In Bamboo’……and I simply cannot wait to get my hands on it!

Both books are available from Amazon in both paperback form and for kindle:

For further information:

https://www.facebook.com/EvisceratedPanda?fref=ts

https://www.facebook.com/sarah.tipper?fref=ts

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