Album number 13 from these lovable Oslo gentlemen will, after much deliberation, finally hit the shelves the week after the 25th anniversary of 9/11. The Dogs would have preferred to release it on the anniversary itself, but everyone here at Indie thought that was a bad idea, so…
Listen to the album here: https://ffm.to/traumajunkie
Frontman Kristopher sums up the album as follows:
“A little more piss at the front of the boxers than on the previous record. And considerably yellower. The kind you need Vanish to get rid of.”
Unfortunately, that was all we managed to get out of him. However, Schau insisted that we include the following note, which we know several of you have received before:
None of this is for publication. This is a personal message from me to whoever happens to be reading this.
Okay, let’s make this as simple and painless as possible for everyone involved. If you work for a music magazine of any kind, or on a radio show where the focus is music, then the answer is “yes, I think it’s fucking great that you want to do a feature on our new record.” Alternatively, “Of course I’ll come on your radio show.” Just send me an email directly and we’ll find a time.
My email address is: kristopher.schau@gmail.com.
A couple of things, though. The question “Tell me a little about The Dogs” signals to everyone, including the reader, that you’re clearly feeling a little lazy. That’s perfectly fine. I’m lazy myself, but then we’re basically agreeing to stay lazy all the way through. Including the answers. You can find out who The Dogs are on the internet, so I’ll just copy something from Wikipedia and email it back to you. Then we’ve both put in the same amount of effort.
“Tell me a little about your new record.” Same thing. Lazy, and you know it deep down. This isn’t meant as criticism. It’s just such a painfully boring question for you, me and the poor readers. We as a band obviously want this to be read too, and when the question is dull, the answer becomes dull and everyone loses. We believe in you! Remember what it was like when you first started in the industry. When you were excited about going to work and took pride in the work you put in. Try to be specific. There’s enough small talk out there as it is.
The classic “What can we expect from you live?” is probably something we can retire as well, right? The answer is simply “loud music”, so I think we should put that one out to pasture immediately.
Again, this isn’t meant as criticism. That’s why we’re doing this here. Together. BEFORE the damage has been done. A win-win for everyone involved.
P.S.
We’re also either recording the interview or doing it over email, right? Those situations where you try to recreate what the conversation was like from memory… hoho, those have been sad times for everyone involved. Phew, glad we’re done with that!
P.P.S.
Remember that you’re the one making money from this. Not us. We’re doing this as a hobby. You’re doing it as a job. Make it a good one. We believe in you!
As stated, this has been a confidential employee meeting between you and me, so once again; none of this is for publication. We’re only doing this to help.
Best,
Kristopher Schau
ABOUT
The Dogs are the Oslo-based band where only one member is actually from Oslo.
A punk rock band that believes they play soul and garage rock. In short, a band that has no idea who they are or what they’re doing. This confusion has however resulted in a total of 12 albums, countless Norwegian tours, unusual one-off events such as opening for Bruce Springsteen, and musical contributions to the new Harry Hole series on Netflix. In other words, they are well prepared for the Alzheimer’s they all have coming.
Confusingly enough, all signs are still pointing upward for the “Oslo band” in the autumn of their lives.
THE DOGS:
Vocals – Kristopher Schau
Guitar – Mads Martinsen
Bass – Tommy Reite
Drums – Henrik Odde Gustavsen
Percussion – Kenneth Simonsen
Keys – Stefan Höglin
Metal Shock Finland (World Assault ) 