New Scumdogs

gwar-group-2014

The Scumdogs of the Universe are sharpening their axes and stoking the fires of their great war engines in preparation for the fall 2014 GWAR Eternal Tour, reports Metal Blade. Global leaders had hoped the bouts of terror accompanying GWAR‘s annual rampages would finally come to an end with the passing of the group’s monstrous captain, Oderus Urungus. But tonight politicians, religious leaders, and citizens around the world are asking, “Why?! Why won’t GWAR just leave the Earth in peace?”

The band’s toothsome guitarist, BalSac the Jaws of Death had this to say: “Something is wrong, unspeakably wrong. It feels as if the very fabric of reality has been ripped from belly to taint. And it all centers around Oderus’ disappearance. One moment, life is fantastic, as we celebrate the near sinking of Japan as a result of our recent journey across the Pacific; and the next, he is just gone. Suddenly the world is a dark, vile place with hordes of trolls biting at my hooves and daring to spit poison in my face. There is a great evil behind this, and I will not rest until I know what has become of my brother!“

Mounting evidence points to a disruption in the core of time is the sudden appearance of the Berserker Blóthar, a Scumdog warrior who claims to be from the distant past. Apparently, he was sucked through a hole in the space/time continuum and deposited onstage in front of thousands of screaming metal heads. Fortunately for GWAR, he knows the words to all of their songs and has pledged to aid them by assuming the role of lead singer. Inexplicably, he is also a hell of a bass guitarist!

And what is to be made of the mysterious new Scumdog, Vulvatron? She appears as a cybernetic female assassin who purports to know the answers that GWAR seeks because she hails from the future. While some of the band seems to have fallen under the spell of her impressive blood-spewing assets, others remain skeptical. JiZMak da Gusha was quoted as saying, “Dames, they ain’t nothin’ but trouble.“

GWAR Eternal Tour Lineup
Blóthar: Lead Singer, Bass Guitar
Beefcake the Mighty: Bass Guitar, Vocals
Pustulus Maximus: Lead Guitar, Vocals
BalSac the Jaws of Death: Rhythm Guitar, Vocals
JiZMak da Gusha: Drums
Bonesnapper: Bodyguard, Crappy Vocals
Sawborg Destructo: Annoying Nemesis, Annoying Vocals
Vulvatron: Plot Twist, Vocals

GWAR W/ Decapitated and American Sharks:
10/15: Norfolk, VA @ The Norva – Tickets
10/16: Sayreville, NJ @ Starland Ballroom – Tickets
10/17: Stroudsburg, PA @ Sherman Theater – Tickets
10/18: Worcester, MA @ The Palladium – “Rock and Shock Festival” – Tickets
10/19: Buffalo, NY @ The Town Ballroom – Tickets
10/21: Louisville, KY @ Expo Five**** – Tickets
10/22: Memphis, TN @ New Daisy Theater – Tickets
10/23: Dallas, TX @ Gas Monkey Live – Tickets
10/24: New Orleans, LA @ House of Blues – Tickets
10/25: Austin, TX @ Emo’s – “Housecore Horror Film Festival* – Tickets
10/26: Houston, TX @ Warehouse Live – Tickets
10/28: Oklahoma City, OK @ Diamond Ballroom – Tickets
10/29: Sauget, IL @ Pop’s Nightclub – Tickets
10/30: Lawrence, KS @ Granada Theater – Tickets
10/31: Denver, CO @ The Summit Music Hall** – Tickets
11/01: Albuquerque, NM @ Sunshine Theater – Tickets
11/02: Tempe, AZ @ The Marquee – Tickets
11/03: Santa Ana, CA @ The Observatory – Tickets
11/04: Reno, NV @ Knitting Factory Concert House – Tickets
11/05: San Francisco, CA @ The Regency Ballroom – Tickets
11/06: Hollywood, CA @ House of Blues – Tickets
11/07: Las Vegas, NV @ Hard Rock Live – Tickets
11/08: Magna, UT @ The Great Salt Air – Tickets
11/10: Boise, ID @ Knitting Factory Concert House – Tickets
11/11: Portland, OR @ Roseland Theater – Tickets
11/12: Seattle, WA @ Showbox SODO – Tickets

GWAR W/ TBA and American Sharks:
11/14: Vancouver, BC and Commodore Ballroom – Tickets

GWAR W/ Corrosion of Conformity and American Sharks:
11/15: Spokane, WA @ Knitting Factory Concert House – Tickets
11/16: Calgary, AB @ MacEwan Hall Ballroom – Tickets
11/17: Edmonton, AB @ Union Hall – Tickets
11/19: Fargo, ND @ The Venue – Tickets
11/20: Minneapolis, MN @ Skyway Theater – Tickets
11/21: Milwaukee, WI @ The Rave – Tickets
11/22: Detroit, MI @ Harpo’s – Tickets
11/23: Grand Rapids, MI @ The Intersection*** – Tickets
11/25: Indianapolis, IN @ The Vogue – Tickets
11/26: Cleveland, OH @ House of Blues – Tickets
11/28: Charlotte, NC @ Tremont Music Hall – Tickets
11/29: Philadelphia, PA @ Electric Factory – Tickets
11/30: New York, NY @ Irving Plaza – Tickets
12/02: Nashville, TN @ Exit/In – Tickets
12/03: Asheville, NC @ The Orange Peel – Tickets
12/04: Pensacola, FL @ Vinyl Music Hall – Tickets
12/05: Orlando, FL @ Firestone Live – Tickets
12/06: Atlanta, GA @ The Masquerade – Tickets
12/07: Columbus, OH @ Newport Music Hall – Tickets
12/08: Millvale, PA @ Mr. Smalls Theater – Tickets
12/09: Toronto, ON @ Opera House – Tickets
12/10: Montreal, QC @ Virgin Mobile Corona Theater – Tickets
12/11: Clifton Park, NY @ Upstate Concert Hall – Tickets
12/12: New Haven, CT @ Toad’s Place – Tickets
12/13: Baltimore, MD @ Baltimore Sound Stage – Tickets
*No American Sharks
**Havok plays on this show
*** The Meatmen play on this show
**** Huntress plays on this show